The Websolace

Reason?

Ran out of air.

Today while supposedly going to Glorietta, we took an elevator going the wrong way, as it reached the 12th floor a little “man” went in and we began going down. At the strike of the 3rd floor the brakes went wild and we “crashed” in between the first and second floor, naturally everyone was in a panic.

One minute in and people were thinking of death. The little man was telling us to keep quiet because apparently, our voices can “shake” the elevator into a crash while our rattling bodies does absolutely nothing.

Two minutes in and one wanted to lose his virginity inside the elevator.

Three minutes and we were able to phone out. Same guy who wanted to lose virginity was thinking that since the elevator shaft was enclosed, absolutely no air could come in.

Four came and I started making elevator jokes, most about death and one.. basta.

On the fifth minute we started slowly crashing down the first floor.. Jesus (Saavedra) screaming, alone.

Sixth? We were saved.

Boring.

Here is the interesting part:

When you’re in a life or death situation with idiots, make sure that you outlive them. No one likes to die beside stupid people.

SERIOUSLY, the air rant?

Update: This is NO ORDINARY MALFUNCTION, we were derailed from one side of the elevator, these rails are the reason why the room is in steady balance whenever the elevator would perform. The room actually tilted after the crash, it recurses back to the derailing, where in if you do the math, it should really be leaning.. That means if we were to pick up inertia on the side that still had the brakes on, we would be falling down with minus half of the pressure (and time) it would take a manual drop with brakes to happen.

If you’re stupid, start reading/reread here:

Do you know how trains work? Elevators are similar, they follow tracks called rails and that determines where they operate. If you’re familiar on how an elevator works, it’s rails are straight, and to differentiate it from a train, it runs vertically.

Wait, stupid people can’t understand that.

Again..

The elevator experienced a “loose thread” and it bent to a side. There are two brakes to an elevator in case of a manual drop, if we were to drop when the other side is still “loose threaded”, we will drop at twice the rate it would take for a normal one to occur.

Sorry if you still can’t understand.

I don’t speak ‘Stupid’.