I have a bad habit of waking up at 2AM
..with a smile.
Tonight I did something different and went back in time to actually read a poem I wrote. I never do this. Whenever I write a letter or poem, I wish it away to whoever I wrote it for; there’s always someone behind the writeup, whether it’s a friend, a love interest or to myself. You can check it out at: http://netcriminal.livejournal.com/57010.html.
I’m shocked. Maybe you’ll never understand the feeling of being born tomorrow when you lived yesterday too much; I’m awoken.
Reading back in time got me contemplating that I used to be a genius where now I only possess the blunt honesty having stripped off all the poetic sugarcoating. It makes me happy that I documented every experience and how it felt in a public web log. I can literally read myself growing up; all the stumbles and peaks and crashes. In a grand conclusion about myself I could honestly say I’ve lost a lot of the compassion I had for things, nevertheless, there was no major change but dozens of tweaks for the better and to balance out things.. for the worse too.
It had me reminisce how much I was in love with someone. It reminded me of certain scars of the past that shaped how I now cope with the present. At some point, I actually felt as if I was reading through another person’s writings, partly because I never read my writes, but it showed me my own evolution. It made me happy; it made me smile that I’m living the future I wrote about myself in the past. I remained strong, firm to ideals and I never lost sight of the direction a prepubescent boy carved the path for.
I didn’t turn out so bad after all, I’m living committed to the best things in life I knew all along.
Stay in love and never ever stop writing.
