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Mudkip

So I haven’t been writing lately, because I’m a man now, and men don’t write, we compose.

Now before you click that close window button because I’m rolling out the poo cannon again, I’d like for you to know that I am awesome. This past weeks have been hilariously undeserved on my part as I’m still the same old person you’d love to hate for your own reasons.

Okay, enough about me, let’s talk about things.

Now I’m going to randomly select current events that I will target my poo cannon onto and fire.

Starvation - This is easy, you see that person next to you… eat him.

Your boyfriend left you - Simple, eat him.

Currently in a life or death situation - .. and you’ve bothered to read this, die.

Something wrong with computer - Seriously, no.

Buying a new phone - Motorola RAZR V3, it’s old, but it’s sleek and sexay, I have one.

Reading a lame blog post - Die in a fire.

Pimple - Pop.

Cow  - Moo.

Lame attempt at a funny post - Die in a fire.

You cheated on the elections - Of course you didn’t, your small stature reasons it all out.

I really have ran out of things to tell you people. It’s weird because this blog always gives me the writers block, which shouldn’t happen. I’m supposed to be reporting to a null audience here because no one reads this stuff anyway.

Oh yeah, if you do, hey.

The O.C. ate me, I’ll be gone for two weeks.

Mischa Barton if you’re reading..

Hi.