There is a corner in my room where I keep pictures, mementos, reminders of my life if you will.  I rummaged through it last night and found a particular picture.  We were 16, at that particular party.  The picture was one my best friend took of us holding hands dancing.  It was a candid unprepared shot.  Back then, I thought you were really pretty that night.  even now.

I’d love to forget about those awkward High School moments.  Girls wanting to be women with their thick make-up, boys with their weird sense of fashion(me included).  Back then, I thought fashion was a ploy to take over the world. (and it turned out to be true) But, I’ll never forget that night with you.  I’ll never forget you asking me to get you some iced tea instead of some beer.  I’ll never forget you calling out to your friends when I wanted to be alone. I’ll never forget about you, especially the you I dragged to the veranda. The you I wanted to have my first kiss with but never got.

The 23 year old me would probably just have laughed at the silly young boy who danced( at least he tried) with you.  He wouldn’t have done it differently.

The 10 minutes I won’t ever forget with her is probably the most awkward moment together.  I pulled you out to the veranda,  I should’ve gotten you a beer instead of some bottled water.  I should have said I wanted to kiss her, and maybe she would’ve let me.  If she did, maybe this would’ve  been more than just a fond and awkward, distant, and fond memory.

The me today, probably would probably kill the 16 year old me for being such a wimp.    For not being able to say his feelings straight out.  I suppose that the young boy and the man are two entirely different people, but the boy this man used to be never really forgot that night.

I forget when was the first time I let go of that memory.  You were one of the best things that happened in High School.  The type every high school boy would’ve wanted.  You’ve probably also forgotten about me now.  But if at least, you do remember something about that night, let it be something you’ll never ever let go of.  We never really had anything in common, but the 17 yer old boy, just never let go.

He never got to tell her how he loved that black dress you wore, or how he wanted to hold her hand forever.  In that house full of badly dressed teenagers trying to look like men and women, the boy secretly thought that she was the prettiest girl in the room.  He never told you how his hands on her waist made him feel like a man.  He never told her how he felt about her.

He never got to tell her thank you for being the first girl he fell in love with.

Just for that reason, even if he tried, he’ll probably never ever forget.

I’ve been keeping a secret. I pretend to ignore you, but I am thinking of you. The truth is, I think of you a lot. Honesty as boundless as the clear blue sky, a kindness that is deeper then the deepest oceans.

You are someone who becomes the saddest if someone around you is sad, and you are someone who becomes the happiest if someone around you is happy.

If some other sentient race were to carefully observe a single person’s daily activities, they’d probably have a hell of a time figuring out why people do particular things.  I feel this way about folding cranes. Some of you might think I’m crazy or something, but I just can’t give a straight answer as to why I’m doing this.  Some things are just done for no clear thought or reason as to why it’s being done.

But, what I do know is what the cranes mean, well at least what they mean to me.    More than a wish, they mean the goals that I’m aiming for,  they mean the things I wish to forget.  It’s not just the cranes, but also the dedication and resolve to take the first leap see this through the end.  To hone this skill to the point where you can fold them even with closed eyes, delicately, accurately, gracefully, as if you were born just fold these cranes. Doing one after one after one after one, slowly I realized, again, they are more than a simple wish,  they are love, sadness, determination, happiness, frustrations all folded into countless almost meaningless little paper cranes.    But perhaps, what they really do for me, is that they wipe away all those tears in the heart, eat away at those shreds of doubt, and keep me moving towards tomorrow.

Not just me, but for anyone who really need something strong to believe in.

七転八起

[Fall down 7 times, Stand up 8]

Those incidents a few years back, I know everything about them. Everything. And yet she doesn’t apologize and expects the world to love her back.

Held up so high on such a breakable thread.

春

生徒たち

Christmas

What’s not to love? Sohia U, here I come.

頑張ってよ。

A few life decisions combing up, but, Fight the good fight. That’s what matters.

It may be that the old astrologers had the truth exactly reversed, when they believed that the stars controlled the destinies of men. The time may come when men control the destinies of stars.

Grab life with these young hearts on fire. Go Go Go!